{"id":6336,"date":"2024-07-06T15:28:00","date_gmt":"2024-07-06T14:28:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.thelabradorsite.com\/?p=6336"},"modified":"2025-06-20T21:09:36","modified_gmt":"2025-06-20T20:09:36","slug":"how-to-beat-the-labrador-puppy-blues","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.thelabradorsite.com\/how-to-beat-the-labrador-puppy-blues\/","title":{"rendered":"Puppy Blues: Coping With Post Puppy Sadness"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
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When I first wrote about post puppy blues some years ago, I think people were much less aware of the importance of good mental health. I coined the term \u2018puppy blues\u2019 because so many people told me that they felt inexplicably sad or overwhelmed after bringing home a new puppy, much like new mothers do with their human babies!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Puppies don\u2019t need to be difficult for you to feel this way. As Jenny writes in the comments<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\u201cIt is exactly how I\u2019ve been feeling. Regret, wanting to bring THEM (we brought home 2 pups) back to the breeder, thoughts of rehoming, and offering them to the neighbors! And they are pretty good! Sleep the night in their crates and doing fairly well in the potty training.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019ve updated the information below because I think this is an important topic, and I\u2019ve included some of the experiences of my readers. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

You Are Not Alone<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

I do encourage you to read the comments. And add your own if you are able. It can be a great comfort to know that you are not alone in feeling sad or regretful after bringing a puppy into your life. It is a massive change. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Some degree of post puppy depression is not unusual, no matter how prepared you may be. And it has a significant effect on every member of the family.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It often strikes after the excitement of the first few days has worn off, and tiredness has set in. And you find yourself feeling down. Of course, with a puppy, your body isn\u2019t awash with hormones like it is after giving birth, and the enormity of the responsibility is not on the same scale. But for many people nevertheless,  there can come a period after the arrival of a puppy when all is not well.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Even the easiest new puppy is a big change<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n

The Puppy Blues<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

After first few days have passed and \u2018His cuddliness\u2019 has got his feet firmly under the table, things might not be quite how you imagined they\u2019d be. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

You no longer want to drift away on the heavenly smell of puppy fur. In fact, the only place you want to drift away to, is your bed,  which has not seen much \u2018sleeping\u2019 lately.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tiredness is often part and parcel of the first few days with a new puppy in the house. And it always feels worse than you thought it was going to. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

When it goes on for more than a few days, the effects can be insidious. To add to your stress, the chances are the whole housetraining thing is not going to plan AT ALL, and your puppy’s behavior is not what you expected. You may find yourself wondering if your puppy is ‘normal’.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Jacky writes ” I have forgotten how hard it is to raise a puppy! They are absolutely exhausting! This article has really helped, I thought I had a problem pup, but he isn\u2019t at all, he\u2019s just behaving as a normal pup would behave.”<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Is he a problem puppy?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

If your puppy repeatedly takes a perverse delight in emptying his bladder in your kitchen, within five seconds of \u2018supposedly\u2019 emptying it outdoors, your patience may be wearing thin.  You may even suspect that he is deliberately saving a bit, with which to decorate your carpets. If he pees in his own bed, and eats his own poop, you may wonder which way to turn. This was definitely not what you  signed up for. And then there’s the biting, and the growling…<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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It’s okay to not fall instantly in love with your new puppy.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

I don\u2019t love my puppy<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

By the end of week two, you may be getting a little concerned.  You had expected to fall madly in love with your puppy,  yet right now, you are not even sure if you like him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Some friends have no sympathy.  They think you are ungrateful. \u201cGive him to us\u201d they demand, half seriously  \u201cWe\u2019d love him\u201d. And you are secretly tempted to do just that.  Only your determination not to be a \u2018failed puppy owner\u2019  prevents you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Actually, you do love your puppy.  He isn’t a problem puppy, he’s normal.  And if you feel like this, you are probably just experiencing a touch of the ‘puppy blues’.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Feeling down<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Puppies grow up quite quickly.  But whilst the trials and tribulations of life with a puppy are soon a thing of the past, it is not unusual for some new owners to feel quite depressed during these early weeks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel this way,  if you secretly wish you had never bought a puppy home, remember this. You are not a bad person. Not even slightly. In fact, your feelings are quite common,  its just that other people don\u2019t talk much about them. It is a natural response to a big shift in your lifestyle.   <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sometimes, the overwhelm can be worse. And you may need some extra help. Talk to your family and friends, let them know how you’re really feeling and if you can’t do that, or it doesn\u2019t help, talk to your doctor. You are not being silly. And you deserve some support. In the meantime, let’s talk about the things you can do right now to improve the situation. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Don’t beat yourself up if your expectations aren’t met<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Getting your expectations in line<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Your priority right now is to grab as much information as you can lay your hands on. You need to set aside some time for reading up to date, accurate, information and advice about puppies. Getting your expectations in line with reality is a key part of this. You need to know what is normal for puppies, and what is not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

House training takes weeks, not days.  Puppies eat everything that they can fit in their mouths,  bite like crocodiles and growl like tigers. And puppies don\u2019t listen to anything anyone says. This is all normal. Knowing that your puppy is just like all other puppies, can be a great relief. So is knowing that your puppy won’t stay this way forever.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Getting some information<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

To discover how you can change your piddling, biting, bundle of naughtiness, into a \u2018real\u2019 dog you just need some information, some time, and a bit of support.  I’ve left some links at the end of this guide to help you get started.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Getting some sleep<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Your next priority is to get a good nights sleep. Lack of sleep makes everyone miserable so don\u2019t plan on being immune to the effects. Many new puppy owners suffer badly from sleep deprivation, and there really is no need for this. Most importantly, sleep deprived people make terrible decisions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are tempted to return the puppy to his breeder or give him away to your next door neighbour, this is not a decision to make on two hours and forty minutes of sleep snatched between visits to the garden. Sleep first, decisions later.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

How to get some sleep<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

You cannot sleep if you can hear a puppy yelling.  If your puppy is terrified to sleep alone, or hates being shut in his crate, it is ok to have him sleep in a box by your bed for the first few nights. This is often the very best way for everyone to get some sleep. If your house is big enough and your neighbours far enough away, you may prefer to have him sleep alone at the other end of the house, where no-one can hear him cry.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The truth is, he will come to no harm being left to cry for a few nights. You don\u2019t need to sleep fitfully by his crate for the next fortnight. Nor will it spoil him rotten if he spends his first few nights in your bedroom, right next to your bed. If you leave him in a large pen with newspaper down for him to relieve himself, you won’t have to get up during the night.  There are disadvantages to this as a long term strategy, but right now, if you are feeling miserable, you need to sleep.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I cannot stress this too much. Just get some sleep! OK? Then<\/em> make a start on housetraining,  and on getting those tiny teeth under control.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Get some help<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Finally, but most importantly  – get some help!  You can<\/em> do this alone, but you don\u2019t need<\/em> to! Join my Dogsnet Support Group<\/a> over on Facebook. And when you have got through the next few months, you may find yourself dishing out sympathy and advice to the next batch of shell-shocked puppy owners.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Many people get their whole world turned upside down by a puppy.  And find it all just ‘too much’. There\u2019s no need for this.  You don\u2019t have to train your puppy to \u2018sit\u2019, ‘lie down’ and ‘walk to heel’  in the first week.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Forget about obedience for the moment, focus on what\u2019s important. Concentrate on what matters. Get your puppy\u2019s housetraining and socialisation under way.  Learn how his little puppy mind works, and find out how to change his behavior using modern, effective and fun methods. Read up a little on the theory, before rushing to put it into practice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Everything you need to know is right here, on this website.  And there is a superb support network<\/a> just waiting to welcome you aboard.  Don\u2019t struggle on alone. We\u2019ll help you get through it, together  – and it\u2019ll actually be fun<\/p>\n\n\n\n

More help and information<\/h2>\n\n\n
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If you enjoy Pippa\u2019s articles, you will love her book: The Happy Puppy Handbook<\/a>(paid link)<\/span> published in 2014. Now available in most countries, the handbook is already a bestseller in the UK.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You can buy The Happy Puppy Handbook from Amazon by following this link<\/a>(paid link)<\/span>. If you do, The Labrador Site will receive a small commission which is greatly appreciated and won’t affect the cost to you!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you prefer to do your reading online, you can get a great deal of the advice\/information that is in the book, on this website, absolutely free.  Just dive into the puppies<\/a> section, and start reading.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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